Funny Jokes About Getting Older

The Senior Care Blog's picture

If you can't laugh about all of the funny things that happen as you age, what can you laugh at? Enjoy today's round of Senior Humor and "Funny Jokes about Getting Older!"

Observations On Growing Older

  • Your Kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your grandchildren are Perfect!
  • Going Out is good.. Coming Home is better!
  • You Forget names .... But it's OK because other people forgot they Even knew you!!!
  • You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... Especially Golf.
  • The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.
  • You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's Called "pre-sleep".
  • You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" Switch..
  • You tend to use more 4 letter words ..."what?"..."when?"... ???
  • Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
  • You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!
  • What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
  • Everybody Whispers.
  • You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ...... 2 of which you will never wear.

Senior Man at the Super Bowl

A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl.

As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty. He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there.

"No," the man replied, "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the first man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?"

The second man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This will be the first Super bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shook his head. "No, they're all at the funeral." Thanks to Rev. Joe Hopkins, New Wilmington, PA

Bought a New Hearing Aid

A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbour. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.'

The Computer Swallowed Grandma

The computer swallowed grandma. Yes, honestly its true! She pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm.

I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found 'online.'

So, if inside your 'Inbox', My Grandma you should see, Please 'Copy', 'Scan', and 'Paste' her, And send her back to me.

Comments

jo's picture
Submitted by jo (not verified) on

i sat at my desk & laughed out loud thanks

Add new comment

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.